When we look in a mirror we see ourselves in a certain way. Others look at us and see things differently. This was amplified recently with lively debates about portraits of famous people. A painting of King Charles was reportedly well received by the subject but attracted criticism that the red background made it look like a Game of Thrones episode. By contrast, the mining magnate Gina Rinehart found her portrait so unflattering that she encouraged her friends and allies to lobby for its removal.
It’s easy to get complacent about life the way we see it. If you’re striving for success then you need to challenge yourself and shake off the complacency of familiar habits. Here are three ways to reframe your view, uncover your blind spots, and put you on the right path to partnership success.
The outsider’s view of your week
If someone observed you closely for a week, what would they say your priorities are?
You may talk about your priorities, like winning new partners, bringing in new income or reaching out to new contacts. But what priorities are demonstrated by your actions? How are you actually spending your time?
Every non-profit tells us that they want to diversify income and explore partnerships. Then the leadership team hires someone to go after bequests or brings in a consultant to amp up regular giving. If an organisation is serious about building corporate partnerships, there need to be tangible investment in hiring, training and supporting the right people.
For individuals working on partnerships, we often hear that they’re too busy to make those calls or send those emails to new contacts. If only…they had a better database, the existing clients weren’t so needy or the collateral looked better. No organisation is perfect, but there is rarely a day when anyone is grabbing your phone to stop you calling a new prospect.
Think about your actions and what they say about your priorities. What changes do you need to make?
It’s behind you
The English pantomime tradition encourages audience participation. In every performance the audience will be screaming at the performers to warn them of the villain creeping up silently. “He’s behind you!” ‘No, don’t open that door!”
The audience has a unique perspective and can see the whole landscape. If you were on stage and the audience is watching closely, what would they be yelling at you? Would they be telling you to stop spending days finessing the partnership proposal and just have a discovery meeting with your prospect? Or maybe they’d be warning you to run a mile from the corporate with an ambitious vision but no money to spend. Sometimes you need to detach yourself from the situation and take a helicopter view- or ask someone to help you zoom out. Getting stuck in the details can mean you miss the bigger picture and what’s creeping up behind you.
Examine your internal dialogue
The illusory trust effect in cognitive science is the tendency to believe false information after consistent, repeated exposures. In other words, if you are told a lie over and over again, it takes root in your mind as a truth. It’s especially effective when it’s a lie you tell yourself.
Sometimes a lie enhances your self-esteem. If you tell yourself that you’re a slim, fit and attractive individual you probably won’t fall for fad diets and insidious adverts for Botox. But if you’re convinced of the opposite, you’ll resist all efforts by your loved ones to tell you how wonderful you really are.
If you tell yourself frequently that you aren’t capable of something you’ll believe it to be true and you’ll stop trying. We often hear partnership professionals say that they aren’t good at cold calling, they suck at presentations or their cause isn’t sexy enough. It becomes a self-fulfilling lie and prevents them from reaching for opportunities. They stop trying to grow.
Examine your internal dialogue and ask what lie you’ve been repeating to yourself. If you expose it to be a lie, how will that change your perspective on success?
If you feel you’re stuck on a treadmill, maybe you need to change your perspective. To find the success you want, it may be your own internal dialogue and self-view that’s holding you back. Maybe the villain isn’t behind you but within you.